Workin' Mama

It was the normal bedtime routine-teeth brushing, Bible reading, prayer, and the usual question.
But this time I was dreading it, not because he would be upset with the answer. Because the answer would upset me. And here it came:
"what tomorrow is?"
I was trying to get the words out, "Tomorrow we have to get up really early and go to Mae Mae's house." Tears were filling my eyes, "because mommy has to go to school." By this point I wasn't really holding anything back, my face was wet.
"Mommy, you sad?"
"Ya I'm sad"
"Who hurt you?"
pause.
" I made you sad? Hayden make you sad? Daddy make you sad? The wall make you sad?"
{side note: whenever we get an owie-scrape a leg, break a nail, etc Hud always wants to know who hurt us or made us sad. And sometimes it's just that darn concrete we fell on or the chair we bumped our toe into etc.}
"No, mommy is sad in her heart"
"Mommy your heart sad? My heart not sad. Why you heart sad?"
"Because mommy has to go to school tomorrow and she's going to miss you."
"I not going to miss me."
(insert some random 3 year old talk that is really not pertinent to the story)
"Mommy, Jesus live in you heart?" (and he says you not your-that's not a typo!)
"Yes, does Jesus live in your heart?"
"No, he's flying in the sky." (this answer changes quite often, so I'm not too worried...)
We finished our normal bedtime routine and made it out of the room before I completely lost it. Sobbing. Eyes filled with tears. I can't leave them. I don't want to do it. I'm going to be a crying mess in front of all those kids, grandparents, and teacher friends.
I continued to snuggle Hayden and we made our way to bed. I knew that 5:30 am was going to come way too soon, especially with some feedings thrown in there.
The morning went as planned, I showered, grabbed my phone and headed in the other room to blow dry my hair (no need to wake the sleeping baby). I clicked YouVersion on my phone while holding the blow dryer to my wet head and went to my daily reading plan. I began reading and got to these words:

"We serve a God who doesn't just save us from our sin, doesn't just redeem our life from the pit, He also says-Hey, whatever life situation I hand you for the sake of my glory: if it's plenty, if it seems like not enough, if its easy or rough-I'm going to give you the strength to get through it. Because I love and because that's the best way for it to happen and you can trust Me."

Then I read in in Philippians 4 in verse 11, "for I have learned to be content what the circumstances."

and in verse 13, "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."

Really Lord? There is a reason that I should have completed this plan a week ago, but was too distracted to focus on You and now you nailed me with it on the exact day I needed it? Really? You're that good God? 

You see that verse was exactly what I needed this morning, on this day, and in this circumstance in my life. Because to be quite honest, I haven't really wanted to be a working mama since November. I want to be a stay home and snuggle babies and bake and take care of the house kind of mama. But Hudson had it all right, "Mommy, Jesus live in your heart?" And because He does, just like the devotional says, He doesn't just redeem us, He strengthens us too. He strengthens us for the things He has planned for our life. Not the things we plan or think sound better, but for His will. 

Because as much as I miss those sweet babies {and boy it's a check your phone whenever you can to see if you have any messages about the babies from Mae Mae kind of miss them} it's not the plan. At least not right now. Because His plan is that I'm a working mama. A teacher mama. A mama of two at home and twenty five in the classroom. And I have a purpose in that. And He has a plan for it. And He strengthens me to be a working mama of two. Because without Him I am nothing and I am not able. 

"For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not he ability to carry it out." Romans 7:18

But thankfully I can say, "I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

Check up

Hayden had his big two month doctor's appointment and Hudson the 3 year! I updated Hud's stats on his 3 year post, but need to get Hayden's written down posted!

Hayden weighed in at a big 12.4lbs (50%)

He measured 23 3/4 inches (75%)

His head circumference is 15.5 inches.

We took on the 2 month shots and he conquered them! Besides the immediate tears and terrible sad face we didn't have too bad of a day, nothing some cuddling couldn't fix!

 The doctor thought he looked great, but mommy already knew that ;)

Kidding. I'm very thankful for two happy and healthy and growing baby boys!

Hudson William {three years}

Hudson, you are 3 years old big boy!

You weigh 31lbs 11oz and are 37 inches tall!

You have grown a 1/2inch since November!

You are wearing 2T clothes, but are about to move to 3T for length!

You also wear big boy undies! Yay! You have been since October, but I will say that you are probably just now getting to be 100% potty trained (having a little brother gave us some set backs).

I could go on and on about the things you love, but I made this little poster as a shortened version ;)

You LOVE trains!

You also really really love Toy Story (the movie & toys). You recently got cowboy boots which you wore almost two months straight and we had to write your name on the bottom. 

You have an imaginary friend Jesse, which I can't help but picture looks just like the red headed movie character. You call her on the phone, talk to her when you're playing, ask to buy her stuff at the store, etc.

You other favorite things to do are play play dough and draw & color.

You are quite the talker! You talk ALL day long about EVERYTHING! I wish I could record some of the things you say, you keep us laughing. You are really into talking about what everyone is doing, what cars they drive and what they like to drink. You say "what are doin'?" all the time.

You are really good at reading environmental print (ya the teacher coming out in mommy). You name every restaurant and store we pass when driving. 

You also have memorized several stories that you "read" to us. You "read" to us from your Bible about Palm Sunday, the crucifiction, and the resurrection.  You also "read" Love You Forever. You love to read stories and visit the library.

You are bound to be a musician, besides it being in your blood you are absolutely obsessed with the guitar. You stole a ukulele from mommy's classroom and you haven't stopped playing since. You got your first acoustic guitar for your birthday and you have played it constantly. You play and you make us sing songs like ABC's, Lover of My Soul, Twinkle Twinkle, the color songs, and on and on.

You love to go to school! I think it has helped you so much in becoming independent and learning about letters and numbers, and socializing. Not that you can't learn those things from home, but it's so good for you to learn from others too.

You LOVE your baby brother and are very protective of him. You tell everyone, "He is MY baby brother." You love to give him his paci, help change diapers, and you always have to know where he is. You don't like when we are away from him. We are so glad that you love him so much, we were a little worried about how you'd react.

Hudson William you are not always easy, but you are worth it. You are strong willed and VERY independent. You don't like help from others and like to do everything your way and by yourself. But even through the tough times we are so thankful that you are ours.  

You bring us so much joy! Three years ago we celebrated one of the best days in our life getting to meet you and we wouldn't trade you for ANYTHING! We love you just the way you are! Happy third Birthday sweet boy.

Love you forever,

like you for always,

as long as I'm living my baby you'll be.

Hayden Greer {two months}

Hayden, you're two months old and here is what you're up to!

You weigh somewhere around 11 pounds, but we'll know exactly when we have your two month check up. You have filled out so much over the past month.

You have outgrown your newborn onesies and are onto 0-3 month in most all of your clothes. It's sad to already be putting things away you can't wear anymore :(

You wear a size one diaper.

You eat EVERY 2 hours during the day. You do not miss that two hour mark by a minute. Then from 7-10 each evening you eat every hour (no wonder you're so chunky :). You eat about 9:30-10 at night so you can go to bed. 

Speaking of bed, you are seeping pretty well at night. You sleep from 10pm-3am (sometimes 5) then start eating every two hours again after that. You sleep until about 8am then you wake up with big stretches and smiles and you love to stare at the light. This is my favorite time of day with you because you are SO happy in the mornings. During the day you really sleep whenever you choose, mostly a lot of cat naps. 

You love to cuddle when you sleep and like your paci to help you fall asleep, it's the only time of the day you want that paci.

You have the sweetest smile and are saying "oh" a lot.

And you have the best facial expressions and the biggest wide eyes I've ever seen!

Your brother still loves you A LOT and when people hold you he is sure to let them know that is "MY baby Hayden."

It's been a busy month with Christmas, meeting Gigi & Pops and taking trip to Missouri. But you've been a trooper for all of our busyness-you hang out in your car seat when we need you to and don't fuss or cry about much of anything {unless it's been 2 hours and you're hungry}.

We {all three of us} adore you VERY much. We can't imagine life without you. What was life like before November? You are such a joy, our sweet cuddle bug and wide eyed baby! Happy two months Hayden! Love you to the moon and back!